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Phantasmic

by Rhonette Smith

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1.
Not Anymore 03:58
I'm not feeling sad today AlI Iʼm seeing is a blinding rage Iʼll wear a smile in front of all of you But when I get home Iʼll tear the walls down in my room I let you get under my skin On more than one occasion I love the feeling when you try To make me feel like I was never worth being alive I could have had it all and more The things that you might just kill for I used to want those things But not anymore Well, my scars are a part of me And if you have to disagree Just know that I know what I want I'm still hanging in there
2.
Kanpai 03:03
This empty pit sits in the center of my chest I hoped by now I would have ben somewhere else The vagabond I am On the search for a plan Toasting to better days ahead But today has been so hard I have been fighting with myself all along And I know I need to stand up on my feet and be strong But what does it mean to be strong? Again, I sit Swinging in the still air While everything around me still goes I've placed myself in the middle of a spiral And I'm spinning faster than I ever wanted to Let's have a toast Let's have a toast To better days ahead
3.
AOK 03:12
I've gotten good At not doing what I said I would And I'm really swell At pretending to be someone else You made me feel I'm on top of the world But I'm carrying the weight on my shoulders I've had enough of pretending to be fine I'm not alright I am ashamed For just asking for the help I need But I'm finding out That my pride is unnecessary I want to be AOK I want to be okay
4.
The ghosts of my decisions Are coming out to get me Clawing their way Out of the pit they were buried in I've felt loss before And I'm losing again You couldn't save me from caving in But I have to do this on my own So please don't waste your time on me With empty frames and shallow promises When I'd rather live in fantasy Have you dared to wander Beyond the walls of safety? Across the land of hopes and dreams? They mystify with words And make it seem so easy To let go of all that I have come to know
5.
It's a hard life Being almost 25 Working all day and sleeping all night Every day's the same Digging more dirt out of my grave I never thought that things would be this way You want to fight me? Well, I'm ready to fight You've got nothing to hold me down Oh, no Think you can beat me? Well give it your best show You haven't seen the best of me yet Oh, no It's so hard to see When the path's laid out for me Turn by turn directions Step by step Complacency Is as easy as falling asleep But dreams can die In the blink of an eye If you asked me just ten years ago If I'd still be here The answer simply would be no But I'm not done I've lived the hard life And I sure have seen better days But surely the sun will shine after the rain
6.
I'm treading water Out in the ocean They couldn't fine me in the sea I left my body In search of someone To help me rest in peace As I fly above the ocean blue I look for any sign of you And I wonder If you'll miss me When you find out that I'm gone On the horizon The sun is fading And is eclipsed by the night I'm getting colder I'm feeling heavy I could just sleep at the bottom If you let me
7.
You wanted to bring me down to your level And you tried to paint me black But what color is your hue now? Since you tainted everything you had I'm not the same as you And you are nothing like me Call me whatever you like Cause we are the same on the inside Do you feel the strings of guilt? Pulling at your conscience You can't take back the words you said Because they're already swirling inside my head Does the color of my skin offend you? The shape of my body tend to Make you place me in a clear cage? I've you'd look beneath the surface you'd see Everything that's true about me Are all the things that you don't see within yourself But how different could we really be when Chasing such fantastic dreams I'd rather be the realest me Than the blackest hue that could ever be
8.
Daydream 03:48
I build my castles high And leave my hopes in the clouds If there's a future that's better than the now I'd like to travel there somehow Do you know what it's like To feel that failure is imminent with every step You take your time And walk across the glass Hoping that your dreams don't shatter Like they did in the past When I close my eyes And pray I find solace in my sleep I can't feel the ache When it's all just a dream If they could see me now Will I have done them proud? I'm looking for the answers In all the wrong places I can't imagine how long That I will continue to say this Please don't wake me up This is the hardest part Trying to face the day When your dream is a hand grenade That's ready to detonate
9.
Disaster 02:35
You're gonna hit me when I'm down? You're gonna turn my world inside out? You're gonna hit me like I've never been before? A disaster's coming Hit the floor Give 'em ell Rage some war Burn those bridges down A disaster's coming You said I couldn't handle the truth It was another of the lies you spewed How can I ever find my faith When everything is so hard to believe? A rebellion is rising Like a fire inside me I feel it coming alive I hear the fates saying, Give it one more try."
10.
Watch me dancing as I stumble into the dark I always felt I had so much left to learn You think you know me when I don't know myself You think I owe you, but I have nothing left I gave it up for this Climb that mountain, darling Swim across that sea Make things out of nothing Be whatever you want to be Stand here on my back I can help you reach Beyond the stars Beyond the galaxy I cannot claim perfection When I am so very flawed Cursed with a curse Haunted by all I've lost I should have figured I couldn't make this work Was stitching pieces of minimal worth But I gave it up For you The sun cannot compete With the rays that you emit When the stars refuse to shine Well, you will always shine twice as bright
11.
Crystalline 04:56
Vacant eyes Shallow steps Do you have nothing left? No one is here No one who cares Show no fear Show no weakness Give yourself away Give yourself away to me now Cause I can see right through you And I can't tell you the truth Maybe it's futile Maybe it's useless But in my defense... I'm crystalline Come and knock on my door Throw a stone at my window Break the panes like a hurricane Sweep me away When I keep you at bay I had forgotten How to feel again And I don't want To feel anymore Vacant eyes Shallow steps I don't have it in me yet To bare my fear Bare my weakness To give myself away I give myself away

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Debut full length album from Rhonette Smith

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released July 26, 2019

Produced by Rhonette Smith and Pete Stern
Recorded and mixed by Ryan Weil at Weilhouse Productions in Middletown, NJ
Mastered by Len Carmichael at Landmine Studios in Ewing, NJ
Logo Design by Patrick Balin
Book Design Concept by Rhonette Smith
Lyric Book and Cover Design by Michael Virok at Sacred Squirrel Studios

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Rhonette Smith New Jersey

Singer-Songwriter from Sayreville, New Jersey. Lead singer and guitarist of indie rock band Centennials.

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