1. |
Not Anymore
03:58
|
|||
I'm not feeling sad today
AlI Iʼm seeing is a blinding rage
Iʼll wear a smile in front of all of you
But when I get home
Iʼll tear the walls down in my room
I let you get under my skin
On more than one occasion
I love the feeling when you try
To make me feel like I was never worth being alive
I could have had it all and more
The things that you might just kill for
I used to want those things
But not anymore
Well, my scars are a part of me
And if you have to disagree
Just know that I know what I want
I'm still hanging in there
|
||||
2. |
Kanpai
03:03
|
|||
This empty pit sits in the center of my chest
I hoped by now
I would have ben somewhere else
The vagabond I am
On the search for a plan
Toasting to better days ahead
But today has been so hard
I have been fighting with myself all along
And I know
I need to stand up on my feet and be strong
But what does it mean to be strong?
Again, I sit
Swinging in the still air
While everything around me still goes
I've placed myself in the middle of a spiral
And I'm spinning faster than I ever wanted to
Let's have a toast
Let's have a toast
To better days ahead
|
||||
3. |
AOK
03:12
|
|||
I've gotten good
At not doing what I said I would
And I'm really swell
At pretending to be someone else
You made me feel I'm on top of the world
But I'm carrying the weight on my shoulders
I've had enough of pretending to be fine
I'm not alright
I am ashamed
For just asking for the help I need
But I'm finding out
That my pride is unnecessary
I want to be AOK
I want to be okay
|
||||
4. |
The Blue Pill
03:53
|
|||
The ghosts of my decisions
Are coming out to get me
Clawing their way
Out of the pit they were buried in
I've felt loss before
And I'm losing again
You couldn't save me from caving in
But I have to do this on my own
So please don't waste your time on me
With empty frames and shallow promises
When I'd rather live in fantasy
Have you dared to wander
Beyond the walls of safety?
Across the land of hopes and dreams?
They mystify with words
And make it seem so easy
To let go of all that I have come to know
|
||||
5. |
The Hard Life
03:45
|
|||
It's a hard life
Being almost 25
Working all day and sleeping all night
Every day's the same
Digging more dirt out of my grave
I never thought that things would be this way
You want to fight me?
Well, I'm ready to fight
You've got nothing to hold me down
Oh, no
Think you can beat me?
Well give it your best show
You haven't seen the best of me yet
Oh, no
It's so hard to see
When the path's laid out for me
Turn by turn directions
Step by step
Complacency
Is as easy as falling asleep
But dreams can die
In the blink of an eye
If you asked me just ten years ago
If I'd still be here
The answer simply would be no
But I'm not done
I've lived the hard life
And I sure have seen better days
But surely the sun will shine after the rain
|
||||
6. |
Walking On Water
03:16
|
|||
I'm treading water
Out in the ocean
They couldn't fine me in the sea
I left my body
In search of someone
To help me rest in peace
As I fly above the ocean blue
I look for any sign of you
And I wonder
If you'll miss me
When you find out that I'm gone
On the horizon
The sun is fading
And is eclipsed by the night
I'm getting colder
I'm feeling heavy
I could just sleep at the bottom
If you let me
|
||||
7. |
||||
You wanted to bring me down to your level
And you tried to paint me black
But what color is your hue now?
Since you tainted everything you had
I'm not the same as you
And you are nothing like me
Call me whatever you like
Cause we are the same on the inside
Do you feel the strings of guilt?
Pulling at your conscience
You can't take back the words you said
Because they're already swirling inside my head
Does the color of my skin offend you?
The shape of my body tend to
Make you place me in a clear cage?
I've you'd look beneath the surface you'd see
Everything that's true about me
Are all the things that you don't see within yourself
But how different could we really be when
Chasing such fantastic dreams
I'd rather be the realest me
Than the blackest hue that could ever be
|
||||
8. |
Daydream
03:48
|
|||
I build my castles high
And leave my hopes in the clouds
If there's a future that's better than the now
I'd like to travel there somehow
Do you know what it's like
To feel that failure is imminent with every step
You take your time
And walk across the glass
Hoping that your dreams don't shatter
Like they did in the past
When I close my eyes
And pray I find solace in my sleep
I can't feel the ache
When it's all just a dream
If they could see me now
Will I have done them proud?
I'm looking for the answers
In all the wrong places
I can't imagine how long
That I will continue to say this
Please don't wake me up
This is the hardest part
Trying to face the day
When your dream is a hand grenade
That's ready to detonate
|
||||
9. |
Disaster
02:35
|
|||
You're gonna hit me when I'm down?
You're gonna turn my world inside out?
You're gonna hit me like I've never been before?
A disaster's coming
Hit the floor
Give 'em ell
Rage some war
Burn those bridges down
A disaster's coming
You said I couldn't handle the truth
It was another of the lies you spewed
How can I ever find my faith
When everything is so hard to believe?
A rebellion is rising
Like a fire inside me
I feel it coming alive
I hear the fates saying,
Give it one more try."
|
||||
10. |
||||
Watch me dancing as I stumble into the dark
I always felt I had so much left to learn
You think you know me when I don't know myself
You think I owe you, but I have nothing left
I gave it up for this
Climb that mountain, darling
Swim across that sea
Make things out of nothing
Be whatever you want to be
Stand here on my back
I can help you reach
Beyond the stars
Beyond the galaxy
I cannot claim perfection
When I am so very flawed
Cursed with a curse
Haunted by all I've lost
I should have figured I couldn't make this work
Was stitching pieces of minimal worth
But I gave it up
For you
The sun cannot compete
With the rays that you emit
When the stars refuse to shine
Well, you will always shine twice as bright
|
||||
11. |
Crystalline
04:56
|
|||
Vacant eyes
Shallow steps
Do you have nothing left?
No one is here
No one who cares
Show no fear
Show no weakness
Give yourself away
Give yourself away to me now
Cause I can see right through you
And I can't tell you the truth
Maybe it's futile
Maybe it's useless
But in my defense...
I'm crystalline
Come and knock on my door
Throw a stone at my window
Break the panes like a hurricane
Sweep me away
When I keep you at bay
I had forgotten
How to feel again
And I don't want
To feel anymore
Vacant eyes
Shallow steps
I don't have it in me yet
To bare my fear
Bare my weakness
To give myself away
I give myself away
|
Rhonette Smith New Jersey
Singer-Songwriter from Sayreville, New Jersey. Lead singer and guitarist of indie rock band Centennials.
Streaming and Download help
Rhonette Smith recommends:
If you like Rhonette Smith, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp